1
00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:06,630
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:20,969
But it's mine! I should
be able to do whatever
I want with it.
3
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:24,398
That's where you're wrong.
Everything in this doggone
house is mine.
4
00:00:24,475 --> 00:00:27,267
And you're not getting
your belly button pierced,
and that's final.
5
00:00:27,344 --> 00:00:30,687
Now you say something.
Go ahead, so I can ground you.
6
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:32,022
Make me sick.
7
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:33,690
That's a week.
8
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,859
You want some more?
9
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,361
Say something.
Suck your teeth.
10
00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:39,529
Anything.
11
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:40,739
(door shuts)
12
00:00:40,816 --> 00:00:42,407
Messing with a man, Ness.
13
00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:46,587
America, I'm at war
in my own house.
14
00:00:46,663 --> 00:00:48,121
Why?
15
00:00:48,198 --> 00:00:50,832
Because I'm cursed.
16
00:00:50,909 --> 00:00:53,010
With a teenager, that's why.
17
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,179
I can't take it anymore.
18
00:00:55,255 --> 00:00:57,047
She's wearing me out,
19
00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:58,673
defenses getting jumpy.
20
00:00:58,750 --> 00:00:59,966
(doorbell rings)
21
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,885
What's that?
22
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:04,221
Incoming! Incoming!
23
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:07,191
(doorbell rings)
Oh. that's the doorbell.
24
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,893
See? I'm gone cwazy.
25
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,528
(quiet panting)
26
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,396
As you were, America.
27
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,574
As you were.
28
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,160
(music playing)
29
00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:21,330
(panting)
30
00:01:25,044 --> 00:01:27,586
(grunting)
31
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:30,839
(knock at door)
32
00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:34,084
Beat you to it.
(laughs)
33
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,512
Hey!
Sha-Wanda-Wanda.
34
00:01:36,588 --> 00:01:37,888
Bernie.
Hey.
35
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:39,923
Hi! I got a surprise
for y'all.
36
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,266
Okay.
37
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,011
Monroe.
(hoots)
38
00:01:45,088 --> 00:01:46,471
Howdy.
39
00:01:46,548 --> 00:01:49,391
Well, look at you.
(laughing) You got a man!
40
00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:50,934
A fiance!
41
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,102
Bling bling-a-ding!
42
00:01:52,179 --> 00:01:54,604
(screaming)
Ooh! Ooh!
43
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,022
(laughter)
44
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,691
Oh, congratulations!
Hey.
45
00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:58,817
Let me see!
Yeah.
46
00:01:58,894 --> 00:02:00,610
(women screaming and laughing)
47
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,612
(mutters) Oh...
Oh!
48
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:03,989
(laughs) Hey.
Oh!
49
00:02:04,065 --> 00:02:06,116
Ooh.
(laughter)
50
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:07,868
Oh.
Oh, no, no, no.
51
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,202
Hey!
52
00:02:09,279 --> 00:02:10,829
Oh, wow. Okay.
53
00:02:10,906 --> 00:02:12,998
Freaky deek...
Oh.
54
00:02:13,074 --> 00:02:14,291
Mmm.
Oh, that's so nice.
55
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:15,625
Get your bags,
come on.
56
00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:16,835
Oh. Hey.
Let me see.
57
00:02:16,912 --> 00:02:19,054
(laughter)
WANDA: Oh, he's cute.
58
00:02:19,131 --> 00:02:20,547
Yeah, you can put
'em right up in...
59
00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:21,965
There you go. Oh.
60
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:24,634
(laughs) Yeah.
61
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,303
(Monroe laughing)
62
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,180
MONROE: Oh, we only
met, what, uh...
63
00:02:28,256 --> 00:02:29,347
BOTH: Three months ago.
64
00:02:29,424 --> 00:02:31,683
Mm-hm, but the moment
I laid eyes
65
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,435
on my sweet peach cobbler...
66
00:02:33,511 --> 00:02:36,479
(laughing)
...I knew.
67
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:37,981
(chuckling)
68
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,357
MONROE: Mmm.
69
00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:40,742
BENITA: There's my
little man, Jordan.
70
00:02:40,819 --> 00:02:45,322
Jordan, I want you to meet
Monroe, my fiance!
71
00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,875
MONROE: Ooh, I like that.
(laughter)
72
00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:50,452
Say hello
to your uncle-to-be.
73
00:02:50,528 --> 00:02:53,589
Hi. Aren't you gonna
feel my muscle?
74
00:02:53,665 --> 00:02:54,915
Ooh...
Whoo!
75
00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:56,650
MONROE: Oh... yeah.
Ow!
76
00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,586
Nita-Bita, why didn't you
tell me Superman was your
nephew?
77
00:02:59,663 --> 00:03:02,881
(laughs)
♪ Sup... Superman ♪
78
00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:05,684
(laughs) Yeah.
79
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,520
BOTH: Mmm...
80
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:11,890
BENITA: Isn't he
something? Oh!
81
00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:13,600
I just had
to let y'all meet him
82
00:03:13,677 --> 00:03:16,320
before we rolled up to
Vegas to tie the knot.
83
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:18,438
(both laughing)
Vegas?
84
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:20,023
You guys are getting
married in Vegas?
85
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,108
Oh, it don't matter
where we get married,
86
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:26,029
just as long as I get to spend
the rest of my natural born days
87
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,323
with my sweet...
chocolate,
88
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:32,118
caramel-covered,
nougat-filled honeysuckle.
89
00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:34,037
Oh, he's so romantic!
(laughing)
90
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:36,331
WANDA: Y'all can't
get married in Vegas.
That's out of the question.
91
00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:39,209
Why don't you guys get
married right here?
Isn't that a good idea?
92
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:40,886
[both kissing]
93
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,724
Yeah, that's a great idea.
94
00:03:45,801 --> 00:03:48,051
Matter of fact, we
could have it right
in the back yard.
95
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,386
Ooh!
Yes.
96
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:50,853
Fix it up real
nice, I mean,
real nice.
97
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,389
Yes, I'll get a minister,
order some flowers,
98
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:53,890
I'll help you
plan the whole thing.
99
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,684
Mm.
Oh, you hear that, baby?
100
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,228
We're gonna have
a real live wedding.
101
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,562
(laughs)
102
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,065
BOTH: Woo, woo, woo.
(laughter)
103
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,359
My baby sister's
getting married.
104
00:04:04,436 --> 00:04:05,860
("Wedding March" playing)
105
00:04:05,937 --> 00:04:09,114
Seems like yesterday
I was wiping her nose,
106
00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:11,366
fixing her a choke sandwich.
107
00:04:11,443 --> 00:04:13,702
That's a peanut butter on white.
108
00:04:13,778 --> 00:04:16,788
You know, choke you
in your throat.
109
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,841
I was taking her little hand,
walking her across the street.
110
00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:25,430
And now I'm getting a chance
to walk her down the aisle.
111
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,624
(knock on door)
112
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,511
Rise and shine!
(groaning) What time is it?
113
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:34,389
Time to get up.
We have got a wedding to plan.
114
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,933
First things first.
We gonna get you
a wedding gown.
115
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,151
Uh-uh, I got a dress.
116
00:04:38,228 --> 00:04:40,404
It's hanging up over there.
117
00:04:40,972 --> 00:04:41,929
Ooh!
118
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:44,232
Mm. I'm gonna be so sexy.
119
00:04:44,309 --> 00:04:46,243
(laughs sleepily)
120
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,903
Let's go for
traditional.
121
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,872
(groans)
122
00:04:50,949 --> 00:04:51,999
Our treat.
123
00:04:53,151 --> 00:04:54,617
I'll be ready
in five minutes.
124
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:55,827
Coffee's on.
125
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:58,371
Give it to me!
No, you can't have it!
126
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,623
Give...
No, I'm gonna cut
off your hand.
127
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:05,003
I know that's not my bridesmaid
over there moping.
128
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,796
Me?
Who else?
129
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:09,049
(both yelling indistinctly)
Come on, girl.
130
00:05:09,125 --> 00:05:10,967
Sha-Wanda is taking me
dress shopping.
131
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:14,679
I'll just tell her
that my bridesmaid
needs a dress, too.
132
00:05:14,756 --> 00:05:18,058
Hmm. Then, girl, we can get you
something that's fly.
133
00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:19,809
That way, you can wear it again.
134
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:22,103
But Bigfoot grounded me.
135
00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:27,650
But nobody is grounded
when Auntie Benita
is getting hitched, okay?
136
00:05:27,727 --> 00:05:30,445
Don't look at me like that.
Ain't nobody scared of Bernard.
137
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:32,622
Get your butt up. Come on.
138
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,491
Ow!
139
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:35,959
I want to be
in the wedding.
140
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,829
(gasps) I have the most
important job of all for you.
141
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,758
You can be my
flower girl.
(gasps)
142
00:05:42,834 --> 00:05:45,794
Yes! I'll be the best
flower girl you ever had.
143
00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,629
Okay.
144
00:05:47,705 --> 00:05:49,547
Jordan,
145
00:05:49,624 --> 00:05:51,674
if you're not too big,
I was hoping
146
00:05:51,751 --> 00:05:53,510
that you would be
my ring bearer.
147
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,720
Oh, I just know
once you get to know Monroe,
148
00:05:55,797 --> 00:05:57,680
you are really gonna like him.
149
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,182
Mm.
150
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,692
(sighs)
151
00:06:02,804 --> 00:06:04,571
(sighs)
152
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,037
Go.
(Monroe humming)
153
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,912
I hate him.
Hey, watch your mouth.
154
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:22,705
(humming)
155
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:24,707
Why do you, uh,
hum all the time?
156
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,543
Oh, well, uh, I'm
working out a song
157
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,545
to sing to Benita
at the wedding.
Oh.
158
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,880
See, I only work
at Stereo City on the side.
159
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:34,309
My true calling's
a singer/songwriter.
160
00:06:34,386 --> 00:06:35,802
♪ I... ♪
161
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:38,021
(muffled chortling)
162
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:42,267
♪ Need a Benita ♪
163
00:06:42,343 --> 00:06:45,395
♪ 'Cause she's sweeta ♪
164
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:49,232
♪ Than any girl
I've ever know-oh-oh... ♪
165
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:50,650
♪ Know... Know-oh-oh ♪
166
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,444
(changes key)
♪ Know-oh-oh ♪
167
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,528
(sings off-key)
♪ Know-oh-oh... ♪
168
00:06:53,605 --> 00:06:54,946
(clears throat)
169
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:56,322
I-I'll get it.
Yeah.
170
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:59,835
Wedding day...
that'll be there.
171
00:07:00,778 --> 00:07:04,247
(humming)
172
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:07,008
(singing operatically)
173
00:07:07,085 --> 00:07:10,712
(singing creaky high notes)
174
00:07:10,788 --> 00:07:13,381
WANDA: Honey,
tomorrow I'm gonna need you
175
00:07:13,458 --> 00:07:16,259
to plant some flowers
in the back...
176
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,511
Why'd you get a new tux?
177
00:07:18,588 --> 00:07:20,263
Bernie Mac don't rent.
178
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,357
Honey, you have a closet
full of tuxedos.
179
00:07:22,434 --> 00:07:24,192
I wore those.
180
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:27,103
Can't walk my sister
down the aisle with
a tux I already wore.
181
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,230
Oh. Oh, you slick.
(chuckles)
182
00:07:29,307 --> 00:07:30,607
(doorbell rings)
183
00:07:30,683 --> 00:07:32,442
Uh-huh. Don't forget,
the flowers in the back.
184
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:33,943
Okay.
185
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,112
(sighs)
186
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,865
(humming "The Wedding March")
187
00:07:38,942 --> 00:07:40,283
WANDA: Bernie!
188
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,326
Nice meeting you, too.
Yeah.
189
00:07:41,402 --> 00:07:42,827
C. Mac!
190
00:07:42,904 --> 00:07:45,288
Hey, B. Mac! B. Mac.
(laughter)
191
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,706
What's up, baby?
Hey.
192
00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:49,501
You look great, man.
You, too, you know.
193
00:07:49,577 --> 00:07:51,127
Is this a shotgun wedding?
194
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:53,338
Should we bring our shotguns?
You know... Clack-clack!
195
00:07:53,414 --> 00:07:54,672
Do we need to
bring our shotguns?
196
00:07:54,749 --> 00:07:56,349
(laughs) He's still crazy.
He crazy.
197
00:07:56,426 --> 00:07:57,800
WANDA: Well, I wanted
to surprise you.
198
00:07:57,877 --> 00:07:59,719
I invited your whole family!
199
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,262
That's sweet
of you, baby.
200
00:08:01,339 --> 00:08:03,640
Oh, Sha-Wanda,
thank you.
201
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:05,642
Carl, I'm so glad
you're here.
202
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:08,778
Hmm. Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Can you give me away?
203
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:15,151
You want me...?
She want me to
give her away.
204
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,779
I'd be honored, baby.
That's my baby, yeah.
205
00:08:17,855 --> 00:08:19,822
MONROE: Whoo!
(laughter)
206
00:08:19,899 --> 00:08:22,626
I had to come second
to Carl my whole life.
207
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,161
Wore his hand-me-downs,
sat in the back seat
208
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,539
while he rode in the front
with Big Momma.
209
00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,624
"Let your big brother
have the big piece of chicken."
210
00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:32,469
Why? I'm hungry, too!
211
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,429
"It'd be my honor."
212
00:08:34,506 --> 00:08:37,674
It was my honor,
until he stole it from me.
213
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,261
And who told Wanda to invite
my whole entire family?
214
00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:43,513
She needs to mind her business.
215
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,149
Some country-fried bull.
216
00:08:49,971 --> 00:08:51,813
BENITA:
All big and cute!
217
00:08:51,889 --> 00:08:55,075
You want to be your Auntie
Benita's flower girl?
218
00:08:55,151 --> 00:08:56,776
But I'm your
flower girl.
219
00:08:56,853 --> 00:08:59,112
Uh-oh.
Now I got two.
220
00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:01,781
Benita McCullough
getting married.
Ain't that something?
221
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,449
Thank the Lord,
thank the Lord.
222
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:06,294
Girl, I was starting
to think you liked women.
223
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:08,162
Or working on it.
(laughter)
224
00:09:08,239 --> 00:09:12,292
No, no, no,
no, no, I like men.
I like employed men.
225
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,918
What?!
Whoo-ooh.
226
00:09:13,995 --> 00:09:18,214
Uh-uh, uh-uh. Uh-uh,
David got a job, okay?
227
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,351
He was ordained this summer.
My man is a minister.
228
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,178
Praise God.
Oh, David ain't no preacher.
229
00:09:24,255 --> 00:09:26,565
Now, Creflo A. Dollar--
that's a preacher.
230
00:09:26,641 --> 00:09:28,441
(laughs)
That man's a peach.
231
00:09:28,518 --> 00:09:29,892
Give me that.
232
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:31,736
Give it here,
let it go, boy.
233
00:09:33,348 --> 00:09:34,772
Ooh, look, look,
look, look, look.
234
00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:36,324
Did you hear
that David is a minister?
235
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:37,826
Now he can do my wedding.
236
00:09:37,902 --> 00:09:40,153
Uh, after I check
those credentials.
237
00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:42,196
Let me see.
I think I'll do a pork roast
238
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:45,283
and maybe some string beans
and ham hocks.
239
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,202
And maybe we'll start out
with some pickled pig feet.
240
00:09:48,279 --> 00:09:49,854
Yeah.
(laughter)
241
00:09:49,931 --> 00:09:52,081
Honey, when a McCullough get
married, the pigs better run.
242
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,667
You crazy.
WANDA: Well, the pig is
safe this time,
243
00:09:54,744 --> 00:09:56,678
'cause I'm catering the wedding.
244
00:09:58,623 --> 00:10:01,299
Wanda, sweetie?
Mm-hmm?
245
00:10:01,376 --> 00:10:02,717
I cook at all the Mac weddings.
246
00:10:02,794 --> 00:10:05,762
Oh. Well, see,
now you don't
have to this time
247
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:08,014
because I got it covered.
248
00:10:08,091 --> 00:10:09,641
Enjoy yourself.
249
00:10:09,717 --> 00:10:12,360
Bernie, will you please tell
your wife that I always cook.
250
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,604
Auntie always cook...
251
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,489
I guess pigs' feet
ain't good enough
252
00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:19,192
for those of us
who have moved
to Hollywood.
253
00:10:19,268 --> 00:10:21,319
(overlapping chatter)
Oh, hey, that was
below the belt.
254
00:10:21,396 --> 00:10:23,371
She didn't say nothing
like that.
255
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:25,165
I know you didn't say...
I didn't hear you say...
Bernie... (clears throat)
256
00:10:25,241 --> 00:10:27,784
Tell your aunt Hollywood
has nothing to do with it.
257
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,869
(stammers)
You know what?
258
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,380
We're not having
any pigs' feet,
259
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,332
and I am not letting
her ruin my wedding.
260
00:10:34,409 --> 00:10:36,042
(shocked murmuring)
261
00:10:36,119 --> 00:10:37,752
Oh, hey, I ain't
marrying her.
This is my wedding.
262
00:10:37,829 --> 00:10:39,429
I ain't marrying you.
This ain't your wedding.
263
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,464
Everybody know
you didn't have a wedding
264
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:43,841
'cause Bernie was scared
of your crazy daddy.
265
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:47,720
First of all,
I'm not scared of Wanda's daddy.
266
00:10:47,797 --> 00:10:49,931
Wanda and I decided
to go to the courthouse
267
00:10:50,007 --> 00:10:51,766
after he threatened
to do bodily harm to me
268
00:10:51,843 --> 00:10:53,267
if I married his daughter.
269
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,436
He was strapped at the time.
270
00:10:55,513 --> 00:10:57,656
I was merely being prudent.
271
00:10:57,732 --> 00:11:00,066
All y'all
would've done the same.
272
00:11:00,143 --> 00:11:01,618
Say, uh...
273
00:11:02,895 --> 00:11:05,905
what's your, uh,
what's your cousin's name again,
274
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:07,782
the one
in the rolling chair?
275
00:11:07,859 --> 00:11:08,983
Lou.
276
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,952
But everyone calls
him "Crippled Lou."
277
00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:12,420
Oh.
278
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,372
(whistles) Hey!
279
00:11:14,449 --> 00:11:15,748
Crippled Lou.
280
00:11:15,825 --> 00:11:17,625
What'd you say?
281
00:11:17,702 --> 00:11:19,335
Uh, Crippled Lou.
282
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,595
I will knock you flat.
283
00:11:20,672 --> 00:11:23,089
Don't let these
gimpy legs fool you.
284
00:11:23,166 --> 00:11:24,882
(snickering)
285
00:11:24,959 --> 00:11:29,637
Bernie made that boy
walk home barefoot
in the Chicago snow.
286
00:11:29,714 --> 00:11:32,515
See he's hard, but his
heart is in the right place.
287
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,242
He's just looking out for you.
288
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:38,020
I know, but when Mom was sick
and he was on the road,
289
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:39,939
I liked it
when you looked after us.
290
00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:42,617
We did have fun,
didn't we, girl?
291
00:11:42,694 --> 00:11:44,026
Well, look, I tell you this.
292
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,061
If things get too
bad around here,
293
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,698
you can always come and stay
with your Auntie Benita
and her husband.
294
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:52,326
Ooh, I like the
way that sounds.
295
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,787
You mean it?
Mm-hmm.
296
00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:55,964
"My husband."
297
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,666
It's got a ring
to it. Huh.
298
00:11:58,743 --> 00:12:01,586
Thanks.
Oh, girl.
299
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,338
(long sigh)
300
00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:06,841
LOU: What's that, funny?
That's a joke?
MONROE: No. No, hey, Lou.
301
00:12:06,918 --> 00:12:09,135
Back it up. Back it on up.
Lou! Lou, that...
302
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:12,472
(snickering)
I hate that Monroe.
303
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:15,266
(both yelling)
(grunts)
304
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,101
(snickering)
305
00:12:17,178 --> 00:12:21,189
Nita! Nita, come
get this fool! Bernie!
306
00:12:21,265 --> 00:12:22,899
(Benita laughing)
307
00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:24,942
Now look here, this is big B
you're talking to, baby.
308
00:12:25,019 --> 00:12:27,195
The only thing I'm concerned
about-- are you happy?
309
00:12:27,271 --> 00:12:28,863
Yes. I love him.
310
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:31,199
No, I do, Bernard.
311
00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:34,285
I mean, I know
he's no Ray Parker Junior,
312
00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:35,870
but I love him.
313
00:12:35,947 --> 00:12:41,760
He... he makes me laugh,
and... I don't know, I...
314
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:45,054
I was really tired
of being by myself.
315
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,008
Damn.
316
00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:51,219
And the brother's
singing to you and all that.
317
00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:52,595
That's one singing mug.
318
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,272
(laughs) He be hittin'
them high notes.
319
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:57,767
BOTH (high-pitched):
♪ High... ♪
320
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,769
(laughing)
Look at this thing here.
321
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,938
This thing eviler
than an ol' bobcat.
322
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:03,523
She's gonna put me
in an early grave.
323
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:05,650
Bernard, she's
a teenager.
324
00:13:05,726 --> 00:13:08,069
You know how that was.
I talked to the girl.
325
00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:10,905
She's gonna be all right.
You don't be here.
326
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,490
She gonna be all
right. I'm serious.
327
00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:13,908
(grumbles)
328
00:13:13,985 --> 00:13:15,868
I polished the silverware,
Uncle Bernie.
329
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:17,495
It's behind the bar.
330
00:13:17,572 --> 00:13:19,080
Good night.
331
00:13:19,156 --> 00:13:21,424
Good night.
332
00:13:22,618 --> 00:13:24,585
Mm-hmm.
333
00:13:24,662 --> 00:13:26,128
Did you just hear
what I thought I heard
334
00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:28,056
or is this juice
playing tricks on me?
335
00:13:28,132 --> 00:13:29,966
(laughing)
Huh? What you laughing at?
336
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,811
BOTH (high-pitched):
♪ High... ♪
337
00:13:35,807 --> 00:13:39,225
(indistinct chatter)
338
00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:41,444
(chamber music playing)
339
00:13:43,398 --> 00:13:44,948
Okay, my little beauties.
340
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:49,077
Smile, drop.
Smile, drop.
341
00:13:49,153 --> 00:13:51,195
Not too many,
and not too few, okay?
342
00:13:51,272 --> 00:13:53,414
Smile, drop.
Ooh!
343
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,201
Oh, I see you got your Bible.
Oh, yeah.
344
00:13:57,278 --> 00:13:59,245
Now you know what
you're supposed to read, right?
345
00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,496
Uh, right, right.
346
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:04,250
Lou... no puff-puff-pass.
347
00:14:04,327 --> 00:14:05,585
Wanda, come on, now.
348
00:14:05,661 --> 00:14:07,920
You know I'm 12-steppin'.
Mm-hmm.
349
00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:09,297
I'm cleaner than
the Virgin Mary.
350
00:14:09,373 --> 00:14:11,549
Okay.
(both chuckling)
351
00:14:11,626 --> 00:14:13,134
(music playing)
352
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:14,394
(both spitting)
353
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:26,522
(frustrated growl)
Hey, son, what's wrong?
354
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,900
I don't want her to marry him.
355
00:14:28,976 --> 00:14:30,910
Look, here, man, you ain't happy
for your Aunt Benita?
356
00:14:30,987 --> 00:14:33,905
You want her to end up
like cat lady up the street,
all alone?
357
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,324
No. Cat lady smells funny.
358
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,911
(chuckles) That's the smell
of loneliness, son.
359
00:14:39,987 --> 00:14:42,088
We always don't get
what we want,
360
00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:44,424
but when you love somebody,
you gotta suck it up.
361
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,584
That's what real men do.
Ow!
362
00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:48,085
(chuckles)
363
00:14:48,162 --> 00:14:50,221
LOU: Man, Bernie,
that was beautiful.
364
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:56,469
Kind of reminds me
when we used to have
our heart-to-hearts.
365
00:14:56,545 --> 00:14:58,596
How you gonna smoke in one hand,
got the good book in the other?
366
00:14:58,673 --> 00:15:02,224
Bernie, herb is the
Lord's creation.
367
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,019
It says here in "Cypress Hill I"
and "Ricky Williams II."
368
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,854
Give me that.
Hey, whoa, Bernie,
whoa, whoa.
369
00:15:06,931 --> 00:15:08,873
Give it here.
There's a party out here.
370
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:10,408
That's what's wrong with you--
it's messed up your mind.
trying to fight me.
371
00:15:10,485 --> 00:15:12,151
Give it here, boy.
Hey, you wanna swing, Mr. 3000?
372
00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:14,787
You want some of this, huh?
Hey, man, what...?!
373
00:15:16,023 --> 00:15:18,291
(soft music playing)
374
00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:24,121
I don't even know
how to thank you.
375
00:15:24,198 --> 00:15:27,792
I mean, this is the
best day of my life
376
00:15:27,868 --> 00:15:30,211
and it's all
because of you.
377
00:15:30,287 --> 00:15:32,630
I love you, Mac.
378
00:15:32,707 --> 00:15:34,507
I love you, too.
379
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,300
Okay, I'm about
to start crying.
380
00:15:36,377 --> 00:15:37,977
(sighs)
381
00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:41,064
Don't make me
start crying.
382
00:15:47,888 --> 00:15:50,356
(whispers) Why don't we have
Bernie walk you down...?
383
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:53,493
(people chattering quietly)
384
00:16:01,235 --> 00:16:02,543
(quiet gasps)
385
00:16:05,448 --> 00:16:06,747
(sighs)
386
00:16:06,824 --> 00:16:09,291
Crybaby.
("Wedding March" playing)
387
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:11,752
He can call me names,
I don't care.
388
00:16:11,829 --> 00:16:14,005
Sticks and stones, baby.
389
00:16:14,081 --> 00:16:16,465
I'm walking my sister
down the aisle.
390
00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:19,510
He reminded Benita
she got two big brothers.
391
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:20,761
You doggone right.
392
00:16:20,838 --> 00:16:22,722
What I look like, chopped liver?
393
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:25,641
Huh.
Now what he did there,
394
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:28,185
that was all right.
395
00:16:28,262 --> 00:16:31,239
I got a big brother, too,
America.
396
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,775
(quietly) Okay...
397
00:16:34,852 --> 00:16:36,786
Dearly Beloved,
398
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:40,031
we are gathered here today
in the sight of God,
399
00:16:40,107 --> 00:16:43,126
in the presence
of all these witnesses.
400
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:46,203
Can I get a witness?
401
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,164
Man with the nose ring,
sir with the hat,
402
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,967
a little witnessing?
Helping?
403
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,045
Can somebody say "Amen"?
404
00:16:54,121 --> 00:16:55,796
Amen, baby.
Preach!
405
00:16:55,873 --> 00:16:59,267
You do what you do, Rev,
'cause I feel the
spirit up in here today.
406
00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:01,635
Uh-huh.
Shore 'nough,
Shore 'nough.
407
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,146
Yeah.
408
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:04,939
So where was I? Uh, hmm?
409
00:17:06,383 --> 00:17:08,601
MONROE: Well, yeah,
why don't you... yeah, Ezekiel.
410
00:17:08,677 --> 00:17:09,810
Go ahead.
Right there.
411
00:17:09,887 --> 00:17:10,811
Okay.
That's all right.
412
00:17:10,888 --> 00:17:12,438
"Chapter 30."
413
00:17:12,515 --> 00:17:14,523
I can barely read it.
414
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:20,163
Now, Wanda gave me this
old thing from Corinthians.
415
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:23,416
Ain't nothing wrong with that,
but I thought I'd try something
a little different.
416
00:17:24,527 --> 00:17:25,951
A little fresher.
417
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:28,662
I think Trick Daddy
said it best.
418
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,540
"Whoop, whoop.
419
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,918
Pull over, that ass is too fat."
420
00:17:33,994 --> 00:17:36,921
(people gasping)
(cameras clicking)
421
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:40,382
"Love is patient,
love is kind
422
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:41,425
It does not envy
423
00:17:41,502 --> 00:17:43,094
It does not boast
424
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:46,097
It is not proud
it is not rude."
425
00:17:46,173 --> 00:17:51,110
♪ No one knows
how to treat her ♪
426
00:17:51,187 --> 00:17:52,728
(spits)
427
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:57,116
♪ My pow, my wow, my senorita ♪
428
00:17:57,193 --> 00:18:00,069
♪ Benita, Benita ♪
429
00:18:00,146 --> 00:18:05,699
(high-pitched)
♪ Benita... ♪
430
00:18:05,776 --> 00:18:08,452
(stifled laughter)
431
00:18:08,529 --> 00:18:10,162
This some bull...
432
00:18:10,239 --> 00:18:13,040
What the hell was that sound?
433
00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:16,001
(sniffling)
What's wrong with you?
434
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,629
It's a nice song.
Yeah.
435
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,299
(up-tempo music playing)
LOU: And so Michael
says to Tito,
436
00:18:22,376 --> 00:18:23,968
"I guess that makes you
the monkey's uncle."
437
00:18:24,044 --> 00:18:25,469
(laughter)
438
00:18:25,546 --> 00:18:27,346
Hey, Bern.
Hey, baby.
439
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:30,558
I understand it's etiquette
to tip the officiant--
that's me--
440
00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:32,601
for performing
the service.
441
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,563
What you talking about?
I tipped you $500
two years ago
442
00:18:35,639 --> 00:18:37,490
for your macrame business.
You remember that?
443
00:18:38,642 --> 00:18:40,743
Huh?
444
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,821
(breathing deeply)
(whimpers)
445
00:18:43,898 --> 00:18:46,198
Is that punch?
I like punch.
446
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:48,200
It's cake's best friend.
447
00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:51,495
(snickers) Something wrong...
Something wrong with him.
448
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:52,713
You know.
449
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,677
(slow ballad playing)
450
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,174
Hey, handsome.
451
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:06,093
Can I have this dance?
452
00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:07,645
You having a good time?
453
00:19:07,722 --> 00:19:09,513
It's okay.
454
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,808
Now you know you my
favorite nephew, right?
455
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,226
Yes, you do.
456
00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:16,187
And Auntie Benita's
always going to have
457
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:19,064
a special place for
you right in my heart.
458
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:21,525
Can't nobody change that.
459
00:19:21,602 --> 00:19:22,660
Come on.
460
00:19:22,737 --> 00:19:24,704
♪ What a difference ♪
461
00:19:25,814 --> 00:19:28,541
(up-tempo music playing)
462
00:19:30,745 --> 00:19:32,712
♪ Yeah... ♪
463
00:19:32,788 --> 00:19:35,164
♪ This is for y'all, remix ♪
464
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:37,374
♪ Said I know ♪
465
00:19:37,451 --> 00:19:43,005
♪ That it's somebody's
birthday tonight ♪
466
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:45,216
♪ Somewhere... ♪
467
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,810
Girl, you get the urge
to plan something else,
468
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,303
my birthday's
in February.
469
00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:50,888
(laughs) I got it
on the calendar.
470
00:19:50,965 --> 00:19:53,057
I know you know.
471
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,183
Oh...
Thank you.
472
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:55,568
You're welcome.
473
00:19:55,645 --> 00:19:58,604
You take care of my little
sister, you hear me now?
474
00:19:58,681 --> 00:19:59,897
Thank you.
You got it.
475
00:19:59,974 --> 00:20:01,190
I will, sir.
476
00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:02,650
(all laughing happily)
477
00:20:02,726 --> 00:20:04,577
That's my husband.
It is.
478
00:20:04,654 --> 00:20:06,904
(all chuckling)
479
00:20:06,981 --> 00:20:08,572
Where the hell
you going?
480
00:20:08,649 --> 00:20:09,740
With Aunt Benita.
481
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,626
She said
I could stay with her.
482
00:20:11,702 --> 00:20:12,910
Girl, stop playing.
483
00:20:12,987 --> 00:20:15,079
You know I got
Monroe to go with.
484
00:20:15,155 --> 00:20:17,506
(laughing)
485
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:22,044
Uh-oh.
Wh...? Vanessa, I'm sorry.
486
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,254
I didn't know
you meant now.
487
00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:24,546
I didn't know
she meant now.
488
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:27,800
Man, I got...
I know, I know.
489
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:30,427
No worries.
Okay, brother.
490
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,395
Okay.
491
00:20:32,223 --> 00:20:33,555
Y'all got a plane
to catch.
492
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:34,807
Go on. We got this.
493
00:20:34,883 --> 00:20:36,976
Whoo! Go on. Giddyup.
(shrieks)
494
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,027
Call when you get there.
495
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,478
Oh, we will.
496
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,272
(down-tempo music playing)
(knocks on door)
497
00:20:41,348 --> 00:20:43,941
Go away.
(car starts)
498
00:20:44,018 --> 00:20:45,276
I will.
Let me just say...
499
00:20:45,352 --> 00:20:47,778
Please, don't say anything.
500
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,280
Just leave me alone.
501
00:20:49,356 --> 00:20:53,376
♪ When the road gets dark... ♪
502
00:20:55,529 --> 00:20:56,954
Nessa...
503
00:20:57,031 --> 00:21:00,374
She promised
I could go with her.
504
00:21:00,451 --> 00:21:03,085
Nobody ever
keeps their promises.
505
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:08,432
♪ Let my love throw a spark ♪
506
00:21:09,376 --> 00:21:13,479
♪ And have a little
faith in me ♪
507
00:21:15,391 --> 00:21:19,235
♪ And when the tears
you cry... ♪
508
00:21:34,651 --> 00:21:36,210
Okay.
509
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:51,684
MAN: Cut!
(crew cheering)
510
00:21:56,465 --> 00:21:57,606
Captioned by Visual Data